Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Oh Just Run Me Over, Already

'Hate' is usually such an ugly word. But when used to describe irritating commercials, the word becomes the Miss Universe of the dictionary. I am speaking of the new genre of automobile TV ads. The car, truck or SUV is shown leaping tall mountains, making maneuvers of super-mechanical strength, or whizzing bullet-speed through various terrains. (By now, I'm thinking I'm hearing a whiz of a different kind.) Then the small print flashes across the bottom of the screen- "Professional stunt driver on a closed course". Uh, I seem to have misplaced my driver's license with that option listed. And, Rhett, wherever shall I find the closed course that they speak of?

One new ad shows a queue-jumping scene at a playground line. Mom and kid load into a mini-van and drive straight to a dealership. Once there, she signs papers, straps the kid in and away they drive in a new Hummer. In the next scene, it's not hard to miss the I'll-show-you-smirk plastered on her face. Gosh, I've always wanted to be on the road with drivers who are toting attitude as cargo. Now, I don't actually need those closed courses to drive like a stunt driver. (lightbulb moment) Wow, those ads were accurate after all. Happy Trails, ya'll.

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